Sending your children through two different homes, what you do in relation to your ex-partner is concerning to your children. There can be two: co-parenting vs parallel parenting.
At Self Divorce Network, it is essential to be aware of these styles so that you can select the right environment. You can be either close colleagues or maintain a proper distance, but in any case, what counts is the happy and healthy children.
The Co-Parenting Road: The Collaborative Path.
Co-parenting implies collaboration between children. They frequently communicate, share the same set of rules, and attend events.
Most co parenting rules involve:
Have the same screen time regulations and discipline in both households.
Discuss school behavior or school work.
Exchange weekends or holidays if the child has some special opportunity.
The Low-Contention Alternative: Parallel Parenting.
To certain families, face-to-face communication is a source of dispute. Parallel parenting is simpler in such situations. It allows the parents to be involved in the life of the child, but they communicate less with each other.
Parallel parenting examples are:
Pass the child in the school or a community park, thus making the parents not go to each other’s homes.
Attend school games/plays but sit at opposite ends.
Share only significant information through an app or email, such as appointments, and do not use emotional stimuli.
Establishing a Boundaries List of Co-Parenting.
Whatever the fashion, demarcations maintain tranquility. Defining boundaries prevents misunderstanding and safeguards your life.
An effective list of co-parenting boundaries would also be:
Only discuss the children, not the past relationship and personal life.
Establish reasonable hours of non-emergency calls, e.g., 6-8 PM.
Respect each other that anything else that is going on within the home of the other parent is their business, as long as the child is safe.
Do not make the child send messages or spy on the other parent.
Which One is Right for You?
Co parenting vs parallel parenting is always confusing. In case you can communicate without fighting, co-parenting provides the child with a single front. Parallel parenting will be preferable, in case all of the negotiations are battles, as the child will not be involved in the conflict.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Is it possible to change the co parenting vs parallel parenting concept?
Yes. Parallel parenting during the first year of divorce is the case in many families because of the high emotions. After the calming down of feelings, they change to co-parenting.
What do you do with such a parent who does not care about boundaries?
Adhere to the legal custody arrangement, and change to parallel parenting. Communicate by writing (email or apps) in order to have a record and remain professional.
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