Many parents ask how to prepare a child for divorce and how to help afterwards. Structured programmes have been studied, and the results are encouraging but specific.
What a 2023 meta-analysis found
A 2023 meta-analysis in Family Process pooled 30 studies of post-divorce programmes for children (4,344 participants and 258 effect sizes). The programmes had significant effects on children’s adjustment to the divorce and on self-esteem. They did not significantly change overall mental health symptoms. Family functioning improved only with younger children, and the authors advised caution because the samples were small.
A parenting programme for mothers
A 1993 trial in the American Journal of Community Psychology evaluated the Children of Divorce Parenting Intervention. Compared with controls, participants reported higher-quality mother-child relationships, better discipline, fewer negative divorce events and better mental health outcomes. Improvement in the mother-child relationship partly explained the mental health benefit, and effects were strongest for families who started with the poorest functioning.
What parents can take from this
- Tell children together, calmly and in simple terms, what is changing and what is staying the same.
- Reassure them it is not their fault.
- Keep a warm, consistent relationship and clear, calm discipline.
- Look for a local school counsellor or parenting programme.
Frequently asked questions
Do programmes for children of divorce work?
A 2023 meta-analysis of 30 studies found benefits for children’s adjustment to divorce and self-esteem, but not for overall mental health symptoms.
What helps most in the parent-child relationship?
In a 1993 trial, a better mother-child relationship partly explained improvements in children’s mental health.
Are the results the same for every family?
No. Effects were larger for families who began with the poorest functioning, and samples in many studies were small.
References
- Herrero M et al. (2023). The efficacy of postdivorce intervention programs for children: A meta-analytical review. Fam Process. PubMed 36054156
- Wolchik SA et al. (1993). The children of divorce parenting intervention: outcome evaluation of an empirically based program. Am J Community Psychol. PubMed 8311029
General information, not legal or medical advice. Divorce law and family circumstances vary, so speak to a qualified family lawyer or counsellor about your situation. Last updated 27 October 2026.
