Some years ago, you got married and took an oath that you would love each other, for better or worse until you took your last breath. That was then and you believed it with all your heart. But today, things have changed, Your union is dissolving.
Divorce can bring out the worst in people. It can be a tremendous invasion of privacy. No question is too personal. Also, your friends will choose a team. This is hard to understand. However, it will happen.
Problems
You may already see the problems ahead when you or your partner split, you probably don’t realize the magnitude. You would not be the first couple who decided to go to counseling and try to save their marriage. Here are a few immediate issues you will face:
- You will live on much less income
Even if you make the majority of the money, you will not mix in your partner’s money and you will need to pay them part of your money until you reach an agreement.
- Division of property
The house will become someone. It may be one of the partners who share the home, or it may be sold and become someone else.
- The children and even the pets
You will need to talk about children and pets. Of course, the children are the most important but bottom line is, anything or anyone under your care that cannot care for themselves. Who will care for them when you cannot? What lifestyle can you give them that will cause the least disruption to their lives?
What is divorce mediation?
A mediator may or may not be an attorney. Some attorneys and retired judges become mediators as a way to help people get through a divorce. But, even if they are an attorney, they work for you as a family. They are legal professionals and all that takes place is kept confidential. The divorce mediator should be familiar with the laws in the state or territory where the divorce will take place. With their help, you can work out an agreement that works for your family. You may have moments when you lose your cool. This would be a problem in court, but in mediation, it will not cause an issue. With your agreement in place and all the issues worked out, you are now ready to file a divorce. If you have come to a good agreement and are ready to have your agreement finalized, you can file for an uncontested divorce. Your divorce will be filed and signed and when the correct number of days has passed, it will become final.
Lawyers
Perhaps your spouse is not someone you can trust by his or her word. Maybe there is a lot of property and assets involved. Maybe there has been abuse or addiction in the marriage. If any of these examples or any other threats are evident, you need an attorney. An attorney is a heavy-hitter in this game. Yes, an attorney costs money, but it is money well-spent.
An attorney is only interested in helping his clients. The attorney will watch the climate of the divorce and be ready to make a move at any moment.
Only you can decide what the best option is for your divorce. Take the time to check out all your options and do what is right for you.
More important problems
Who you are
You will go through all kinds of emotions. Sometimes there will be peace and other times there will be great anger and frustration. Just when you think you have felt everything possible, it will start all over again. While this is happening, you must remember, everyone is going through their part. Be careful not to expect others to feel what you feel. You are getting a divorce. Your partner is getting a divorce. But, your children are not getting a divorce. They feel their own pain and confusion. They are not your eyes, your ears, your spy, or your protector.
No Winners
You are not going to win your divorce. Your spouse is not going to win. No matter how civil divorce is and how mature you manage to dissolve the union, it is still going to be dissolved. Getting a little more of the money or a piece of land that means a lot to her, might give you gratification, but vengeance is short-lived. If you have children in a marriage, you will be tied in some way to your spouse for years. You will share children and you will share grandchildren. Your plan to have a special bit of pain built into your divorce will not be much of a plan a few years down the road.
Closing
Divorce is a painful thing. It hurts everyone involved. Making it as easy as possible is in your best interest. Is divorce mediation in your best interest? Yes. If you can do anything that can smooth out the process and work out painful problems outside of the court, you are more likely to get what you want. You can come away from your court experience and show your children how you can go through challenges in life without letting them destroy you.
For you divorce mediation, choose your legal professionals carefully and let them fight the battle for you.
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