Before you walk down that aisle, ask these three questions to build a marriage that actually lasts:
- What’s your credit score and money history?
- How important is religion in your life?
- Should we draft a prenuptial agreement?
Getting these topics on the table now might feel awkward, but believe me, avoiding the elephant in the room only makes it stomp harder later.
Money Talks Aren’t Sexy—But They Matter
Finances are, hands down, one of the top triggers for divorce. You know that sinking feeling when you see yet another overdraft notice? Multiply that by your partner’s invisible debts, and you’ve got trouble brewing. So, start with a simple question: “What’s your credit score?” Follow it up: “Ever filed for bankruptcy? Owe any lingering credit card bills?”
I’ve seen couples wince at these questions—honestly, who enjoys discussing past mistakes? But once you lay it all out—the student loans, the splurges on that European vacation—it demystifies the unknown. Fear and insecurity tend to dissolve when the financial skeletons come out of the closet. (You’ll probably breathe easier, too.)
Belief Systems: More Than Sunday Mornings
Religion can be a cornerstone or a stumbling block. Padideh Jafari, a seasoned family law attorney, still believes it’s worth asking if spirituality matters to your partner—and how it might shape your future children’s lives.
Imagine this: you’re dreaming of a white-washed baptism, while your spouse is, well, agnostic. Do you see the future tension? Do you want Sunday school fundraisers or mellow Saturday mornings? These differences can ripple through everyday routines—holidays, milestones, even dinner table conversations. It’s not about converting each other; it’s about respect and planning ahead, so no one ends up feeling blindsided.
Prenups: The Ultimate Love Potion?
A prenup might not sound romantic—far from it—but think of it as a confidence booster. Laura Wasser, known for representing celebrities like Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears, emphasizes that openly discussing a prenup allows full financial disclosure, a rare glimpse under each other’s hoods.
You can frame it like this: “Hey, should we have a prenup?” This question doesn’t have to sting. It’s really an invitation to transparency. Maybe account A remains yours, account B stays theirs. That clarity can remove an undercurrent of anticipation around “what ifs.”
You might even find it oddly reassuring to know you can keep your grandma’s antique necklace, no drama attached.
A Habit Worth Building
Open dialogue isn’t a one-off checklist item. It’s a muscle you flex throughout your marriage. Poor communication may be divorce’s biggest spark. So, yes, ask these three questions before the vows. But go further—practice tough talks whenever a feeling of dread or confusion creeps in.
Got thoughts on which question feels the hardest—or perhaps the most revealing?
Leave a comment below. Share your own pre-marriage conversation stories, and don’t forget to follow us on Facebook for more real-talk insights. Let’s make saying “I do” something you’ll never have to regret.
Before you go, and if you’re in a domestic partnership right now, understand your rights, benefits, and legal implications.
Sources:
- www.cnbc.com/2025/07/31/divorce-attorneys-3-questions-to-ask-your-partner-before-marriage.html
- www.investopedia.com/so-you-re-getting-married-4687193
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