In a matter of separation, parents are often aimed at collaborating on behalf of children. There are certain situations when one of the parents can attempt to cause harm to the other. This is referred to as counter parenting.
At Self Divorce Network, these patterns are the ones we believe in as spotting the first step towards maintaining peace for you and the kids.
What is Counter Parenting?
Counter parenting refers to the intention of one parent to assume the role of the other parent and the rules, relationship, or authority of the child. Co-parenting is the process of collaboration. Counter parenting concerns the battle of fighting or controlling.
Counter parenting examples are:
Sabotaging Routines: When there is a rule to bed at 8:00 PM, the second parent allows the child to stay until midnight so that he/she can be like the fun parent.
Disparaging Remarks: Telling negative things about you to hurt your relationship with the child.
Withholding Information: Failing to communicate to you about a school play ,or visit with a doctor, or a meeting with the parent.
Playing with Time: Calling the child at a time when you are supposed to be called or contriving emergencies so that you can save time.
How to Handle Counter Parenting.
There are some counter parenting rules that you must abide by. This is how you can handle it
Parallel Parenting: In case of impossibility of cooperation, turn to parallel parenting. There are no visits other than emergency cases.
Documentation: A record of missing visits or withholding information should be kept. This proves handy in the event of a revisit to court.
Stability: Maintain the stability in your home. The other house is indeed messy but the kids will like the organisation and the security of your home.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs).
What are the four styles of parenting?
Psychologists tend to classify parenting into four styles:
Authoritative Warm – Clear Rules, Best with Kids.
Authoritarian – Hard on rules, low warmth.
Permissive – Warm, no rules
Uninvolved – Low warmth, no rules.
Counter parenting will tend to combine those styles to confuse the child or win affection.
What is reverse parenting?
Reverse parenting (also known as parentification) occurs when the child is compelled to assume adult roles or even feelings. It takes place frequently in the counter-parenting homes when one of the parents involves the child as a confidant or requests him/her to take care of emotional needs.
